You wanna know what makes me crazy? That Etienne can sit through 45 minutes of a piano lesson with an elderly man but in the 5 minutes I leave him unattended at home he seeks out a crayon to color on the woodwork. It's frustrating that he will allow a sitter to sleep through the night but that Ryan and I book a hotel room for respite. That makes me crazy. It hurts my feelings that after all this time, his actions still aim to hurt us. But it's not about me, is it?
Ultimately, Etienne, Molly, Blake and Zeke aren't my kids. God has entrusted me with them for the time being. Ultimately, my goal as their mama is to help them live a life that glorifies God. And to do that, they need to know Him personally. i can't force them.
For awhile now, I have been praying that Etienne could know that he is loved unconditionally. Last night, I decided to change my prayer for him. I am just praying that E find God on his own accord. Sure, he is young to have a personal relationship with God. But this is the God that divided the seas from the land. The God that moved literally dozens and dozens of people to bring our boys home when the bureaucracy said no. So I don't doubt that a 5 year old can find a real relationship with Christ. I want Etienne (and all my kids) to live a life driven out of love for their Creator and not approval of man. So my new prayer for my son is that he fall in love with God. Amen.