Lately, I have noticed that I have pretty much stoppped sugar coating anything I share with the rest of the world. I need to pray about this because I don't mean to be quick tempered or sarcastic (Molly likes to play the game "Are you being sarcastic?"). I also find myself more easily frustrated with the general insentivity that people seem to show the Etienne and Ezekiel. This is a problem because insensitivity isn't going to change. It isn't anything new or something I hadn't thought about before deciding to create a transracial family. So I know that's just Satan trying to throw a wrench in something beautiful.
For example, I have been sharing less and less when people ask how we are. Friends that I once considered close will say things such as "Oh, it's just because he's 3," or "They are totally normal now, its amazing." I understand and appreciate that it's meant as encouragement but I am too real for blanket statements. It feels like they are downplaying something that is incredibly heartbreaking to me as much now as it was last fall when everything was still "new." There is an element of truth to the general comments, however, it isn't ok when your 3 year old asks before meals, "Can I eat too?," or when planning an outing, "I get to go too?" And it is more than amazing the transformations that God has performed in my children's life, but my E has yet to learn that he is loved, included and wanted unconditionally now and forever. That is the saddest thing for a mama to realize her baby doesn't know he is loved. On a happy note; Summer has brought some really fun, joyful "firsts." These firsts included but are not limited to:
popsicles, slip and slides, swimming, fireflies, bug bites and corn on the cob. Etienne's love of water is even more fun for us because we vividly remember his terror at taking a bath all of last fall. Fireflies tend to freak the boys out a bit and their smiles while eating corn on the cob speak for themselves.