Here's the scoop

My email to Ryan Hanlon generated a quick response. The story goes thus far: Rwanda has recently placed a new framework regarding out-of-country adoptions. After America World matches each family with their children, they have to send the match back to the Ministry for Approval. Prior to our dossier (and the other 2 that are at the same stage as us), it wasn't neccessary to send the match back to the Ministry before giving the families the referral. In other words, there is a new hoop to jump through and our 3 families are the first to jump. Sigh.

Butterflies

All week my husband, a few friends and family members have had butterflies thinking that this is the week----and I have finally had a little relief from them! This morning I woke up to a dream that the four of us were getting ready to meet our new family members for the first time and a little girl was wrapping herself around my skirt. It was so sweet and comforting. Thank you to Ryan's folks and our awesome sister-in-law, Lora, for the hard work, sweat and occasional gross-out (who donates thongs?!) at our garage sale. We made $1300! That is a plane ticket! Courtney, Heidi and I have been "chatting" all week on facebook and have made a pact to call each other when we get a referral. They are the other 2 mamas waiting for a referral this week too. I love my new friends and sisters.

Revelation

This week I asked for a burning bush. Well, last night our buddy Cody took my kiddos to a movies and I got some time alone to go running. As I was jogging, I realized that it isn't like I am Job! My family, home and belongings haven't been taken from me. Being a mother, wife, midwife, nurse, none of that defines who I ultimately am. All that matters is that I am God's child and He totally provides everything in His perfect plan. He is providing for my whole family- the ones in Kansas and the ones in Kigali and we are His. By the time I returned home, I was back to my old self and feel joyful. My heart is happy with what only God can fill. This is definately a burning bush that I needed.

PS. We're having an AWESOME garage sale at 15615 Ballentine, OP,KS 66007 with all the profits to bring the Higgins' kids home.

Update

My heart leapt as my blackberry sang "Gimme Your Eyes," the ring tone for America World! It was indeed Ryan, our case manager. Calling not with a referral, but to say that the orphanage wanted an additional letter stating that we do want 2 children, not just 1. And it needed to be notorized but not authenticated. Huh? In our dossier there are 2 seperate letters, both notorized and authenticated, stating we want 2 children. Once again, the answer was that Rwanda hasn't ever had a family request 2 kids at once until now. Agh! I was at KU library, being analyzed by a test taking counselor (btw, she stated, "your skills are good, I think you need medicated.") when this call came. So there was a notary within the building. I called my dear friend Vicky, met up with her and we had the document notarized and faxed within a few hours of the call. My Ryan and I overanalyzed this phone call because Ryan Hanlon also called my Ryan to ask if we really wanted siblings or we didn't care. What does that mean? Do they have siblings? Are they close to a referral? Are we back at square one? Where the heck did the first 2 letters with our request go?! As Adrianne would say, "sigh."

Burning Bush

The title of this blog is a shout out to my husband. Almost exactly 7 years ago we started praying what we called our "burning bush" prayer. We were a young married couple awaiting our assignment for the Peace Corp. We'd be assigned and reassigned several times because of Sept 11th and the unknown safety of the world at that time. We were starting to get frustrated with our life being in limbo and not knowing when we'd leave the US and where we'd go. After a few months of praying for any kind of burning bush, we found out we were pregnant with Molly. What a shock! That bush was on fire. Now I am requesting another burning bush. I am so grateful for all the faithful and loving prayer warriors that our in the Higgins' world and I know that so many are praying each day. I am requesting a burning bush this week. I will take it in any form-a referral of our Rwandan babies, a sold home, a mortgage for new home, a test date for getting boards over with. Even an old fashioned talking, burning (yet not burning) bush. Thanks, friends.

Walk the Walk

I owe everyone an apology. I blog about our faith in our Lord's perfect timing. Most of the time, I feel like my family is living and walking in faith. But this last week, I fell off the wagon. I found myself doubting myself, our plans, our decisions and God's timing. Each day as I participated in VBS at church, we sang, read, played and acted out the story of Moses leading the people through the desert for 40 years, not knowing where they were going. The theme was "Fear not!" Yet all week, I fought tears, insomnia and doubt. Unknowns for our family right now are numerous: the adoption (when?how?who?), selling our home, relocating, new career. I attempted my CNM boards and faced grippling anxiety to the point I couldn't function. Later, Blake said "Mama, fear not! God was with you!" Yeah for VBS! Hebrews 11:1 "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Read all of Hebrews 11 for encouragement. I am sorry that I doubted God's plan and God's timing because I know that the details in the Higgins' world right now will all play out perfectly. And I know that. I just let the world get the best of me. People may tell us we're crazy to try to adopt, sell our home, start new jobs. For a moment, I believed them. That moment is passed.

Something free!!?!

Well, T-Mobile just made my day! Our plan was adjusted so that we can make internationals calls from Africa and it didn't cost a thing to add that option! Granted, it is $1.99/minute from Rwanda and $2.99/minute from Ethiopia, but at least we now have the capabilities do make that call!

We also had fun with a gift card to Old Navy this week (BTW all mens stuff is 1/2off) looking for appropriate "Africa" travel gear- you know, skirts below the knee, light weight guys pants. The conservative stuff. Not so easy to find but still fun to think we're getting so close...

Also got a helpful email from a fellow adoptive family that took their biological children with them (ages 4 and 7); besides providing encouragement they also had great suggestions for the journey and NO regrets at all that they took their whole family. This reiterated what Ryan and I feel- the four of us are a team and we do this as a family. Plus, I really think that if we have a toddler that is anxious about leaving his/her familiar home of the orphanage, that Molly and Blake (esp Moll's she is a little mama!) will be a comfort to their new siblings and help with the bonding.

29

That's the number of days since we received word of ministry approval and started awaiting referral. A lot has happened in those 29 days- I completed my master's, Molly graduated from kindergarten, Blake decided to sleep under his bed rather in it in, Ryan committed to 4 weeks of work related travel this summer, we started packing our house up. Basically, keep on keeping on! Our prayer daily is that our other children may know laughter every day, have someone to snuggle them when they are sad and feel safe and loved until we can get to them. Also, I am requesting prayers also for the ACNM examine that I will be taking in the next few weeks- so much at stake.