Sunday, June 14, 2009
Walk the Walk
I owe everyone an apology. I blog about our faith in our Lord's perfect timing. Most of the time, I feel like my family is living and walking in faith. But this last week, I fell off the wagon. I found myself doubting myself, our plans, our decisions and God's timing. Each day as I participated in VBS at church, we sang, read, played and acted out the story of Moses leading the people through the desert for 40 years, not knowing where they were going. The theme was "Fear not!" Yet all week, I fought tears, insomnia and doubt. Unknowns for our family right now are numerous: the adoption (when?how?who?), selling our home, relocating, new career. I attempted my CNM boards and faced grippling anxiety to the point I couldn't function. Later, Blake said "Mama, fear not! God was with you!" Yeah for VBS! Hebrews 11:1 "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Read all of Hebrews 11 for encouragement. I am sorry that I doubted God's plan and God's timing because I know that the details in the Higgins' world right now will all play out perfectly. And I know that. I just let the world get the best of me. People may tell us we're crazy to try to adopt, sell our home, start new jobs. For a moment, I believed them. That moment is passed.