Monday, April 16, 2012

Community, III

     Last week was a RAD week.  I've come to expect that post fun, I will usually get hit with some added RAD stuff in the return to normal.  Our post spring break/Easter week was a little messier than usual.
     By Thursday, I was beat.  For a refresher, Etienne's reactive attachment stuff looks like lying, manipulating and a lot of destructive (property) habits.  I won't get into the details, if you are a new reader you can reread older posts.  I know that his reactions are out of insecurity and fear.  I know that my core prayer for him is that he know that he is loved unconditionally by 1.His Creator 2. His parents.  Doesn't mean it doesn't suck to google how to remove ink from porcelain.  I also know that "faking it" doesn't work for me.  What you see is what you get.  So I prayed a lot last week that I could remember to find the blessings in the mundane.  
     Last Thursday was a provider meeting day at my work (I am a CNM/women's NP) and these meetings are over the lunch hour. Alas, my mundane was becoming stressful.   I was not about to get a babysitter when I knew that E and Zeke too were needing a little more mama in the face than normal.  I packed large lunches (when given unlimited food, they can remain semi quiet because they are jamming it all in) and some play dough and we ventured in to my work.  It happened to be an education day and the doc in charge did a presentation Jeopardy style all the way down to the buzzers and "What is" format (playing games in meetings, I know!)  My anxiety went sky high at the site of 6 buzzers attached to 6 bright flashing lights.  Darn gadgets!  This is where God showed up.  Zeke snuggled next to another midwife across the room from me while our medical director gave Etienne a buzzer and began whispering the right answers in his ear.  An hour later, both boys had been loved on, heard more than they needed on prostate screenings and I had another lesson learned.  My work community met us where we were and it meant more to me than I can express.  In my role at work, I need to keep up barriers because of professionalism and my relationship with my staff.  I forget that God uses my transparency elsewhere in my life, He can use it here too.  So a lot of the docs and NPs didn't know before Thursday some of the baggage that comes with me, but they took us, our noise, our taking apart the furniture, button pressing, loud talking, no boundaries behavior in stride.  And I found my blessings in the mundane.

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