I have hesitated to blog post-vacation. I could fill the pages in on awesome Blake is (he turned 6 while flying down the Alpine slides of Steamboat Springs), how Molly loved geocaching or that Zeke kept saying "When are we going on vacation?". I'd love to post the boys faces during fireworks at the Royals/Rockies game, singing "Proud to be an American." Instead I am cherishing it all in my heart.
Truth be told, post-vacation is an ugly mess of lying, wet pants and 3 steps back for Mr. E. My heart is broken because the lies are all for me. The rule breaking is for mama, not daddy. The expert in our back pocket says that I can be thankful that my son has such a strong bond toward his father. That his personality will probably always favor and respect men more than women. That's great in writing. But my heart still hurts.
Tonight, after a rough day, I rocked him and I said "I love you forever." His eyes glazed and I asked him what I just said. His reply: "That Daddy is sad when I lie." My gut reaction was to want to shake him. And then these words came on:
"The Lord has promised good to me,
His word, my hope secures,
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures"
And all I can do is rock my baby. Rock and sing. Rock and sing.