Let's get real.

Last week was definitely one of our "steps back." We had lots of lying, peeing/pooing, uncontrolled crying. You know, the ugly stuff. I posted on Thursday about our new approach (per the experts) and that we were giving it a go with the whole no reward/punishment thing. What I didn't share was all the anger I felt in doing this. I really, really lost it. After another day of lying and peeing, when Etienne was skipped on downstairs with his siblings to watch our Thursday night tradition, "Wipe Out." Gggrr!! It was infuriating to me that he'd had so many hurtful, disgusting behaviors yet were we still including him in the fun family activity. I literally had to separate myself from the entourage so that I could pray that God would just take that anger and fill it with love and patience. I pulled out Colossians and reread chapter 3, thinking that although I may not be bound by the sin of lust or filthy language, anger may be another story...
So Etienne tests my limits. He redefines "active." There is no pant that he won't wear through in less then 8 weeks. His sheets need changed at least a few times a week. The enormity of his heart is unreal. His theme song is "Don't Worry, Be Happy." His wants are simple. Sunday morning, knowing he was about to start whining, I made him spoon with me in bed. He sighed, started to suck his thumb, saying, "I sure like when we cuddle, Mama." And then I know God has replaced that anger with love.