Happy Birthday, Baby!

The bottom pic is actually titled "Not Crying" in our computer. We can all see the happy little boy he has become.



THIS IS FROM SEPT 2009, A FEW DAYS AFTER WE CAME HOME:
"In the days since we've been home, Zeke has become increasingly distant and fearful. It started out a few days ago that he yelled whenever we weren't holding him but has progressed to yelling all the time, including while we hold him. He won't look us in the eyes and tonight when I tried to lotion him after his bath he yelled louder and attempted to climb away from me; eventually trying to claw at my eyes. I prayed over him this whole time and we continue to try to feed him bottles, rock, sing, make him look us in the eyes, but he needs more than parents can give. I have also given him tylenol and motrin today, hoping that maybe something physical is wrong and we have a doctor appt in the morning. We know that we are so blessed by our friends who continue to pray for us and we need it now more than ever."


For those newer to our entourage, this was Zeke until Oct.24,2009. I remember that day as clear as giving birth. He just stopped crying, looked at me, and we fell in love. As Molly affectionately name him, "sparkly-eyed-smiley-face" has never looked back. When I meet people that tell me children can never get totally past RAD, I look at Zeke. He fills my heart with hope and he reminds everyone that God can fix any brokeness. Ryan will say that I baby him (so do Molly, Blake and their father!) and I know I do. He lets me and I still have to make up for the times before he came home. :) In honor of his birthday, here are some funny Ezekiel tidbits:
-He sings just like Barry White
-Zeke will eat and eat and eat and eat some more (including the vegetables he once despised!)
-Zeke will flip his eyelids inside out just to get his mom to freak.
-Molly is Zeke's warmer-upper after bathtime
-The kid has CRAZY memory. He can tell us directions to locations, that hippo pictures in the zoo don't have tongues or that Molly forgot to put her earrings in.
-When Zeke gets mad, he screams "underpants!!!"
-The boy could read books all day
-Every night Zeke gives huge hugs and rather aggressive "love pats"

Every day, I think of all the waiting parents in the world and I remember the physical ache that I felt until Zeke and Etienne were in my arms. Our life is sometimes inside out and backwards, but I wouldn't have it any other way; and on the extra painful days, our Zeke-ee Baby will yell "underpants" and we remember that we are all right.

Endurance

A few days ago, after some entense E situations, I was in this place of hopelessness and anger. I kept focusing on how nothing was working. Poor us, blah, blah. I was getting angry at the well intentioned (but entirely off based) words of others. My awesome husband quickly reminded me that faith is finding endurance during the worst of times. It's easy to praise God while floating on peaceful waters, right? So I confessed to some friends and here we are moving forward again.
Yesterday Etienne was screened by with ELL in the schools and with a preschool instructor. We won't know formal results for a week or so, but the ELL gal made it clear that language comprehension our problem. That's good....
During the screening, Blake introduced himself: "I'm his FRIEND but also his brother." So grateful for that kind of love. Miss Molly checks in after school, "I prayed that E would have a good day and don't cry cause you are happy,mom." Zeke just laughs, that sparkly-eyed smiley face.
The pic is E working on words and matching opposites. The second is a spontaneous group hug. Poor Molly. Those nuns said "We have concern, all those boys.

"

Resources

Here's the List of Resources I (grudgingly) have contacted in the past 24 hrs:
-Both Moms (grandma/nana)

-local public school screening program

-Boys Town national hotline

-program director, http://behavenkids.com/daytreatment-

-Sonic Vanilla Dr Pepper (X2)

-local YMCA for a formal apology

Think we are covered. I promise that we do our best to avoid drama. Some weeks are like that. I am not buying into the un-truth that life with an older adopted child will ALWAYS be like this. Neither should you.

The Thrill is Gone...

...from the sticker chart, that is. We started off strong, Etienne was really excited at lunch and bedtime to earn his stickers and praise. Now, not so much. This has been the case with all our discipline with E. Last summer, time outs brought out the waterworks for a few weeks. Then it was sleeping in the spare room, rather then the "big boy" room. For a brief time, spankings were so, so sad. We also moved on to donating toys to the foster home every time someone hit/punched/kicked (BTW, I HIGHLY recommend this-cleaning, giving and punishment all in one!) Now, nothing. E has an amazing poker face. Ryan will say I am reading into this, but I feel like this is another coping mechanism that we have to break down to get to E's heart. I am, once again, longing for a more experienced adoptive mom of an older child to tell me what to do.