Friday, February 5, 2010

Remember or Forget?

I couldn't write about this immediately after it happened because I wasn't sure what to do with my emotions. Tuesday night as Etienne and I were starting to say bedtime prayers, he began talking very animated and furvatively in kinyarwandan, mentioning "Margine" and "Molly, Blake, bye-bye." Margine is the name of one of his caretakers from the orphanage. We were all 4 with him the last day at HOH when he told Margine good-bye. I asked him if he missed his friends in Rwanda and he nodded his head and snuggled me. The next night at our bible study, I asked the other women to pray for Etienne about this and one woman looked at me, surprised, and said "You just want him to forget the orphanage?" I do and I know I am getting judged for saying that, but I don't want him to remember what it feels like to play half naked on cold concrete floor. I don't want him remember being bathed with lye soap and a bucket of cold water or falling down and no one helping him up. I don't want him to remember what it feels like to be an orphan. I am forever grateful for the Sisters at Home of Hope; they loved on him and it was the best of a bad circumstance. I know that his basic needs were met and he was given what there was to give. Every day I tell him where he came from and that he is ours. I struggle to find a balance of honoring his history but also protecting his little heart. Zeke update: he is more and more funny each day, continues to stump the infectious disease docs at Children's and we just keep plowing through the stinkiness. B-man started preschool this week and LOVES it. Teaching his teacher new endings to nursery rhymes. Molly's working to plan her birthday party (not until March 30!) and got her hair cut sassy short. Pics to follow....


  1. No one is judging you, Kara. God knows your heart and He knows Etienne's heart and his needs. God is doing amazing things in Etienne and Zeke's hearts and lives through you. You all have many, many prayers being said for all of you every single day. Trust God to protect your little boys' hearts and lives. He knows what they need.

  2. Very nicely said, I wouldn't of thought of that. I have to agree with you. How old were they again when you picked them up? Thanks!