Our Little Monster

Baby Ezekiel (Zeke-y Baby),

Happy Birthday, beau! Today is an emotional day for us; we think your birthday is today or tomorrow and part of me doesn't want it to be so. In many ways, you are still our little 18 month old "Daniel," looking so serious. Someone told me a few months ago that the more difficult it is to during the attachment period, the tighter the bond. I know that to be true. There were many, many sleepless nights and weeks and weeks of screaming, looks of terror and no eye contact. I never felt so broke as I did when I was first your mama. I didn't know what to do or how to help you. There were many times I knew you were mine, but I was at a loss for what that meant. God is so good to us though, buddy. Lots of people you'll never even know were praying for us. We held you tighter with each scream, forced you to look us in the eyes and kissed you as you turned away. All the while, God was holding onto us while we tried to hold you. October 24th 2009 I was watching you run around an indoor playground and I was overwhelmed with how simply adorable, irresistable and precious you are. I fell in love. The kind of mommy love that is all encompassing, unconditional and eternal. I cried and laughed and praised God at the playground in that moment. Everyday since then has been more joy than pain, more smiles than tears. You have this amazing sparkle in your eyes now that I know is LOVE.

Although you are 2-ish, you aren't yet ready to lose the swaddling, rocking or being bottle fed. I am totally okay with you being the baby for as long as you need to be...

xoxo Mama Molly and Blake nicknamed you "little monster" in those first weeks home, partly because you had some monster jammies and partly because your behavior was similar to one....it kinda stuck. Hence the monster cake.