Sunday, January 17, 2010

Have patience, have patience

So I always pride myself on being truthful. Truthful to other parents about adoption and parenthood, truthful to my kids and strangers in line at the grocery. I need to be truthful with myself and pray more about my Etienne.
Etienne's been such a go-with-the-flow kinda boy. I worried that all the daily battles with Ezekiel would make it more difficult for E to bond with his folks but our love for him is just as big.
Etienne is smiley, outgoing, charming and so smart. He is affectionate, cuddly and curious. He is also whiny, manipulative and easily over-stimulated. I find myself being really short with his insecurities and then I have incredible guilt about my impatience. I know that for 3 (or so) years my E didn't have a single possession or someone to love, no attention, snuggles or hugs. I am praying that I remember that when he is jealous of affection, is running wild at Sunday school or manipulating his family.
I write this partially for all the other adoptive moms out there. Maybe they will have less guilt when they are so incredibly angry at the child that they prayed for and dreamed of for so long. It's normal, we just have such high expectations on ourselves that we don't want to talk about our human nature. Can you imagine if our Father got annoyed with all the things we do?!
On a lighter note, the boys received some hair TLC from our good friend Lonnell over the holidays. They loved every minute of it. He also brought a goody bag of supplies that should last us awhile. Ryan and I both find that picking Etienne's 'fro is incredibly soothing. :)


  1. Have faith in yourselves and the good Lord. We think you are doing a beautiful job with your four little ones. Dad

  2. Dear Kara,
    My husband and I are investigating Rwandan adoption. We'd love to adopt two boys, preferable bothers ages 0-3. But we also don't want to stand in line for kids (we don't mind waiting - we're not in a hurry - we just want to be meeting an actual need and not be "competing" for kids) - is your sense that there are already a lot of people wanting to adopt young brothers from Rwanda?
    How old were your boys (according to the orphanage) when you brought them home? Thank you for being honest about some of your challenged these first few months on the blog. It means so much to us an we pray and discern. Do you know others who have adopted two young boys?
    Thanks -
    Mary Hoyt - Atlanta, GA
    We have a large Burundian population in our neighborhood - my husband and I are in full-time refugee ministry, so we're excited about the culture/language crossover that will be there for our boys.