Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Etienne and Ezkiel make strides everyday, and sometimes I need to take a step back and look at the Big Picture. Just cause our nights are rough and we have lots of temper tantrums and daily battles, I tend to forget. My little guys are smiling, tolerate long sleves, eat everything, repeat words back, know their family members, wear shoes, identify McDonalds (to mama's dismay); they are an AMAZING gift from God. I deliver babies for a living, I am blessed to witness the miracle of birth but I think it is only a shadow of the beauty and awe and grace that goes into Adoption. We are humbled by our Creator's plan for our family.

A year ago we were taking adoptive parenting classes and I remember practicing my responses to inappropriate questions for in the grocery store line. Well we have officially lived those moments now. More than questions, I am bothered by the staring. I hope they stare because they are amazed that the boys are finally here, but many times I feel like they are a novelty to others. People we know, when meeting E and Z, stare and make comments like, "Look, he's eating popcorn!" Duh. He's a kid. This has been harder for me than I thought. I am also frequently asked if they are brothers, and I know it isn't meant as offensive, but as an adoptive family, Ryan and I both find this question stupid. Yes, all three of my sons are brothers.

I love dinner time, when Etienne and Blake sit on the bench together. They jabber, in English and in French, giggle and smile at each other. Rancher is on standby for clean up duty. I look at them and everything is right.