Really?!?

Ryan H, our case manager, sent us an email this morning. Basically, "we'll have you a referral in the next couple of weeks." Really? That's what we keep hearing. I guess at least we're being checked in on, not forgotten. I remind myself that families adopting from China wait over 2 years, but my head and heart aren't on the same page. Really?! Agh.

Give me your junk

Mark your calendar- June 18, 19 & 20 we are having a garage sale! Ryan's mom, Paula, sent us an encouraging email yesterday morning after visiting some other blogs and seeing photos of other recently adopted kids. She was feeling inspired and decided that she'd like to help us have another fundraiser and its that garage sale time of year. So, email me if you have stuff you'd like me to take off your hands (or out of your attic/garage/basement!) and I will come in my grocery getter and pick it up! Today is 3 weeks since the Ministry sent our letter of approval. It felt like a kinda sad day. To those of you reading it wondering why should I be sad, I know. Sigh. I have so much to be thankful for but there is a part of me that is already a mom to the kids I haven't met. And every mom out there knows the feeling of being a little bit less when you aren't with your kids. Just not quite whole. I am, of course, just praying each morning that today will be the day that we will remember forever. I know that God didn't promise that anything that would be easy; He did promise that He will give us the strength to get through this. "the Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!" -Psalms 126:3 This past week there were awaa families in Rwanda bringing their children home. We are thanking God for their smooth process and safe travels!

New Friends

Blogging has been such a blessing for numerous reasons- one of the biggest being that it has allowed me to befriend other adoptive mothers who facing many of the same challenges and emotions as our family. Saturday I was blessed to have lunch with Adrianne, another adoptive mom who is also waiting to receive word from Rwanda regarding getting her baby. She was in town for the weekend all the way from Richmond, VA, so we met for lunch at KCI. Nothing like a little airport food to start a friendship off right! I am sure that the two of us were quite a sight- eating subpar mexican in a dimly lit airport venue, crying and laughing like old pals. I guess I feel like I've found an old friend not to mention someone that completely understands what waiting for your child feels like. We were able to swap stories and now have a face to put with the prayers we've been saying for one another. It's a really cool bond and I look forward to our families continuing to support each other in the years to come. I took a picture of us with my hip new blackberry. Here we are chillin' at the KCI. Just think, next summer our families can hang at the awaa africa reunion together!

2 weeks

That's how long it's been since our dossier was approved and forwarded onto the orphanage director. Every day I wake up wondering if today will be the day and although he won't admit it, I know my other half is getting excited too. Today I completed an application for an interest free loan specifically for adoption costs. So much money and I don't even really flinch like I used to when I fill these things out! I know we have debt, but we are so accustomed to living as poor grad students that now school is over and we're earning money, we'll still have to be paying this off yet our lifestyle won't take a hit. We'll just keep eating ramon, playing outside and going to the library. We are so happy to do this and I love that we don't need "stuff" to be entertained or content. So, no word. As I keep saying, "You'll know when we know!" I am praying that we have some word before the end of the week so that Ryan can figure out his summer work plans.

Too heavy for Friday morning

This morning as I was putting pigtails in her hair, Molly said she wondered if people in Africa would think she looked funny because she is white. This being 7:30am, I wasn't prepared for a response and quickly said something along the lines of she'll look different, but pretty. Then Molly said, "I guess that is how my brother and sister might feel too when they move here." Oh my goodness, I wasn't ready for that! So we talked about how our family will look different from lots of other families and I asked her what she would tell her siblings. She thought a moment, then said "That you are perfect and your family doesn't care how you look." We talked a little more and she decided that families are just the people who love you no matter what. I was really moved by the conversation (couldn't let on because she's quick to remind me that "if grown ups cry it makes kids worry") and I knew it was a glimpse of many conversations to come on the subject of race. After school, we were at a park full of Head Start classes and Molly and Blake were the minority. I watched as they packed 15 kids on a merry-go-round, all squeezing together and speaking no less then 3 languages; I prayed that all my kids will always be able to squeeze in without feeling out of place whereever they may be.

Mom of 4

"For we, through the Spirit, wait for the hope of rightousness by faith." -Galations 5:5 It has gotten slightly easier to wait knowing that we are so close to finding out if we have 2 sons or a son and a daughter. Yesterday a loved one asked, "how does it feel to be mother of four?" and I can't keep the happiness off my face despite the fact that I am tearing up at everything. It was wonderful to share the news of our approval letter with our church family and feel their geniune excitement. I'm thinking a lot about the my Molly and Blake-man, how I am so blessed and overjoyed to be their mom and praying that they will adjust with happiness to their new family members. Their lives are going to be changing big time too and as their mom I just want the whole transition to be smooth and natural. I'm thinking about my kids that don't even know yet how much their family here loves them. Also thinking of all the orphans that are still waiting for a home and it has become very personal to me to pray for orphans. I think that even after my kids are all home with me, that this may a lifelong project for the Higgins' family. It kinda gets in your blood. Our prayers now continue to be to receive our referral and travel before July!

10 Feet Off the Ground

Wow! We are overwhelmed with all of the excitement everyone is sharing with us knowing that we are so close to the end of "paper chase!" To all the other adoptive families who are sending us encouragement and prayers- we are feeling it all with you and you'll be there soon. I decided today that I still needed to be doing something toward the adoption. So I am having a garage sale! I decorated our garage with the beautiful Rwanda photos that we had from our fundraiser dinner and made signs about the adoption. It's something, right?! I also became "a little stalker-esque" as Ryan said and found Don Cheadle's mom's address. He is from KC and he starred in Hotel Rwanda, so I just thought I had nothing to lose.:) I know you're all laughing, but you're also thinking, that girl is creative!

Good News!!

God is so good! This has been a rollercoaster of emotions this week. Today Ryan Hanlon, our awaa case manager, called to say that the Ministry has approved us, that our paperwork will be reviewed tomorrow by the orphanage director!!!! He said, "Unfortunately, this means a more waiting, sometimes a month." That's nothing! Thank you for all the prayers you are sending our way, we can feel them and I am sure our kiddos in Rwanda can too. "do not be anxious about anything,, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Phillipians 4:6

The Blessings in Waiting

Dear Friends, As we mark another week off the calendar in waiting, I have prayed for God to change my perception of this time. Here are some of the positives that I can see: 1. Waiting allows my family to reflect on how God is our ultimate provider. Molly and Blake often comment on "when are we getting our brother and sister?" They are learning (and we're getting reinforcement!) that God gives us what we need, when we need it. 2. I got a minivan to put everyone in! 3. I reflect on what it must be like to be an orphan. For those little ones out there waiting for a family, our time waiting is nothing in comparison. I pray more for them. 4. We're given more time to get everything else in our lives more in order including but not limited to alphabetizing spices, career changes and moving. 5. As we wait, we are given opportunity to share with people we meet along the way God's grace through adoption. Spread a little adoption bug. 6. I will be finished with grad school and no more studying by the time I get my kids! To be continued...