Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A new twist on the biracial family

     A few years ago, I was always a little sensitive about stating the obvious, the elephant in the room.  We are white and our kids our black.  Anymore, I crack up at Blake and Etienne telling the lady in the check out line, "He's my twin," (this always leaves a stranger speechless).  I am not sure if I have grown accustomed to the stares or maybe I am too busy making sure that I don't lose a kid to care about the looks.
     Last night at the park a little boy stopped at my feet as I was snuggling Zeke.  It's funny when kids blatantly stare.  I said hello and he asked "Is that really your kid?"  I shook my head yes and kissed Zeke again.   He said "Ok," and went on his way.  Love that.  So simple.  It's us grown ups that usually screw things up by making it more complicated than it is.
     Last week on our last night without Daddy, we cashed in on our four kids-eat-free coupons at a local restaurant.  As we were eating, I definitively felt the stares.  One couple kept turning and doing the I'm-pretending-to-look-out-the-window-but-my-husband-wants-me-to-look-at-you stare.  I looked them directly in the eyes with each slow glance and smiled big.  After a while,  I finally asked Molly if she noticed a lot of people looking at us.  Her reply was classic.
"Mom. It's because there is only one grown up out to eat with four kids."
     So there you go.  I was complicating things!


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  2. I had been waiting on a family with a newly adopted baby home from Ethiopia. The baby was in a carrier on the table out of the way sleeping so I never really paid much attention to her. However, dad was wearing a shirt with a phrase on it that I couldn't quite make out because the carrier was blocking it so I kept pausing and staring. It said my coffee and my children come from Ethiopia. He probably thought I was staring because of the kids but it was just his shirt. The kids were well behaved and a little shy so they were the least of my thoughts.

  3. Too funny! I have 3 boys 4, 3, 1 and am now noticeably pregnant with our 4th. I get an insane amount of comments and stares each time I'm out by myself. I've been finding people usually react the way they do because just the thought of being in my position overwhelms them! Your family is beautiful, I've been following for a while, and I'm grateful for your sharing. We know we've been called to adopt and I love that your blog is honest, It helps me think realistically about something that's often romanticized. God bless you!

  4. That was a great story. I think have the people were staring at your Black children and the other half were amazed that you were out on your own with 4 children. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could set aside our prejudice, bias, and fear of other people and act like 5 year olds.