Monday, August 8, 2011
1 lonely backpack....
That is Etienne's empty backpack. It is empty because as of right now, he can't attend preschool 3 mornings a week. If you are new to the post-adoption world, you may not know that changes in routines, whether good or bad, can wreak havoc on an older adopted child. Since returning from South Dakota, my E has had a few steps back. Long story short, he is now wearing diapers all the time. To Ryan and I, our biggest frustration with this is that he doesn't seem to mind a bit. Peeing in Sam's Club? His reaction was a flat affect, indifferent to wet, smelly pants. We have been telling him that preschools only allow potty trained kids, that big boys can't stay up to watch the Royals, etc, etc.
Last night we had a breakthrough. The remainder of the entourage, including Zeke, was loading their shiny folders, new boxes of crayons and fresh supplies into backpacks. E lost it. I mean sobbing inconsolably. No one had said a word about him missing out or his need to wear diapers. He cried and cried. First thing this morning, the crying started again and he asked to call his Grandpa. E told his grandpa, through tears and sobs, that he didn't know why he peed his pants and he wants to be a big boy. Than he asked his Grandpa to pray with him, to ask God to help him. After they hung up, this is what E and I prayed.
"Please God, let me know that I am loved ALL the time. Please God, let my heart know my family is my family forever and my home is where ever my family is. Please help me remember You love me all the time."
Today we are doing pull-ups, a step up from a diaper, a step down from underpants. Today all 3 siblings are cheering him on, that he is a big boy, that he can do it, that he is always loved.