Monday, January 31, 2011
It feels deliberate.
I know people read my blog partially for my transparency and recently I've been trying to focus on all the funny in our life. Believe me, there is a lot of funny with this entourage. Truthfully, though, Ryan and I are back to battling a lot of really UGLY attachment behaviors: lying, stealing and deliberate disobeying. Tonight I could really use a more experienced adoptive parent for advice. I am again brought to tears as Etienne sits in punishment for lying. It's killing me more now than ever. The lies are over really, really stupid things. (Finding him in our closet, going through a file cabinet and telling me "Dad said I could take a nap here." or having a mouth full of gum and saying "No, I don't have gum." Such obvious, silly, silly lies. The lies are primarily directed at me. He always comes clean to Ryan despite the fact that we are consistantly disciplining the same. It's more difficult now that we had a couple of weeks with minimal attachment stuff and it was so great!! Why, why, why God, is he doing this again? It's like when you have a new baby that sleeps through the night and then they start waking up again. We've also been battling some stealing. This really scares me. So far it's been limited to purses and bags of famliy members and a woman at a table next to us in Runza. Ugh. Luckily, the stranger was gracious and we caught him "red handed." Still. One great trait that Etienne has is that he really just goes with the flow. However, this is not good when we are punishing him. For example, we were making him donate a toy if he hit/punched/kicked/bit someone. The first couple of times it was so sad. Now he puts on his poker face and doesn't care. Ssssoooo....we are trying the old sticker chart. There are only 2 goals: NO HURTING OTHERS and NO LYING OR STEALING. Forget brushing our teeth, making the bed or putting toys away. I just want an honest little boy who won't hurt anyone. We'll work on the rest later. PS The couple above the sticker chart are E's Godparents and some of my favorite people, Jeff and Vicky. The reward for a week of stickers is a playdate with Jeff and Vicky. I even divided the days in half so we can hopefully get a reward part way through the day to promote more good..