One of our first outings after coming home, my babysitter joined us heading to the library. As we were leaving, she asked me if I was getting used to all the stares. I was so surprised by her question. Until than I think I was so absorbed with not losing anyone, avoiding blowout giardia diapers and giving all the kids equal attention, that I really didn't notice it. Now that we have our new "norm" figured out (I use that phrase very lightly!) I do notice. I hear the comments ("How many fathers do those kids have?), feel the heads tracking us and am easily offended by the term "real" (all 4 of my kids are, BTW). Today I realized that this is never really going to change. When our family goes out to celebrate Etienne's high school graduation, people will still ask, look, stare. We will still be new to the public. We will never blend in.
Then I realized how AWESOME this can be. Just like our amazing faith filled, giving-God-glory adoption. We can turn the rude questions into another opportunity to promote adoption and to share how God's grace sustains us. We look entirely different and I can tell the gawkers that in so many, many ways adoption is more of a miracle than childbirth. This is my professional midwife/adoptive mom opinion...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
This is how it is.
One of our first outings after coming home, my babysitter joined us heading to the library. As we were leaving, she asked me if I was getting used to all the stares. I was so surprised by her question. Until than I think I was so absorbed with not losing anyone, avoiding blowout giardia diapers and giving all the kids equal attention, that I really didn't notice it. Now that we have our new "norm" figured out (I use that phrase very lightly!) I do notice. I hear the comments ("How many fathers do those kids have?), feel the heads tracking us and am easily offended by the term "real" (all 4 of my kids are, BTW). Today I realized that this is never really going to change. When our family goes out to celebrate Etienne's high school graduation, people will still ask, look, stare. We will still be new to the public. We will never blend in.
Then I realized how AWESOME this can be. Just like our amazing faith filled, giving-God-glory adoption. We can turn the rude questions into another opportunity to promote adoption and to share how God's grace sustains us. We look entirely different and I can tell the gawkers that in so many, many ways adoption is more of a miracle than childbirth. This is my professional midwife/adoptive mom opinion...
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You're right, it won't change, but you will be become accustomed and you'll develop the response that works best for your family. When our aunt hears the "just how many fathers do they have?" comment, she smiles and says,"They ALL have the SAME Father, who is ALMIGHTY GOD. He's also YOUR Father. Do YOU know Him? He loves you, too." I don't think I could do this, but it works for her and her kids.
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