Thursday, April 15, 2010
Reality of Postadoption
Sorry, no photos today. I am sure you've all heard recently of the Tennessee woman who sent her recently adopted son on a plane back to Russia as a solution to post adoption transition. Our last night in Addis, in the airport was one of the worst experiences of my life. Etienne didn't understand who we were, what we were doing or where we were going. He refused to walk (poor kiddo had never worn shoes before), he ran into crowds, tried to climb on, in and around things, his white shirt was literally brown because he was on the floor/ground so much. I was so afraid we would lose him or he'd be injured. I remember praying constantly, "God, give us strength to keep him safe right now." I never, ever thought that he wasn't MINE. I was scared, unsure and doubtful, but we knew we had no other option. The transition period after getting your child is nothing like what you think it will be. It's a lot more difficult and there are challenges that you won't know how to fix. I've committed myself to keeping a real, honest blog so that other mamas and daddies will know when they are freaking out in the post-adoption period that they aren't alone and it will get better. The woman in Tennessee is not a reflection of adoptive parents. We love our kids with all our being-it isn't the same love as a biological child-it's different because it is a love grown totally in the heart and through God's grace. I really believe that that woman was missing her Father's support in adopting her son. Last week Blake, our biological son, learned that we wasn't adopted from Hawaii. (??!) When he found out that he was actually from my stomach, the kid was devestated and left the room. I was laughing hysterically and happy that he believes adoption is the norm. I guess I could have reminded him that we're all adopted as God's children, but I was laughing too hard.