Fresh Paint

   For Christmas, my folks gave me the gift of painting.  Our stairway was more than an eyesore.  Homes with four kiddos are going to look a little rough,  but the wall hangings had been deliberately knocked off (resulting in drywall damage), most of the time Etienne flung himself down the stairs which meant all kinds of markings.  And lets not forget the endless battles with crayons, markers and pens.  Needless to say, I was thinking that this paint job may just be a waste of time.  Six weeks later, the walls are great.  E says things like, "I used to be that way..."  So beyond words grateful for this.

  And even more grateful for this.  I don't like angry or stressed, right?  We took this tonight, in the midst of some hardcore attachment parenting.  Etienne had a no good, very bad day at school.  One at which I know the other adults in his life were glad for the bell to ring.  He came home hyper, loud and looking for destruction.  We did our high protein snack, our 10 minutes of decompressing, our 20 minutes of jump roping.  We did our "brain builders." He stayed within a couple feet, always touching me.  And I didn't lose my mind.  I wasn't counting the minutes until Ryan got home.  This is evidence of God's grace.
  Because let me tell you, attachment parenting is hard.  Most kids that need down and dirty, Connected Child stuff, they are exhausting and frustrating beyond words.   No one really wants to do this intense stuff day in, day out.  Until a few weeks ago, when E needed me holding him, spending every second with him, giving him a ridiculous amount of one-on-one attention, I was gritting my teeth.
  So when E found love, his mama did too.  I have known for a long time now that I would jump in front of a train for this kid.  But now I would do it kicking and screaming and shouting at how good God is; how blessed that I get to be the mama that would die for him.