"For me, to live is in Christ, to die is gain. -Phillipians 1:21
So I heard a sermon regarding this text a couple weeks ago and it has been resonating in me since. To LIVE in CHRIST. I am living in Christ or am I just another Midwestern Mama with good morals and loud kids? I have been pondering that I live in my family. I live in my children. I live in Etienne and Zeke being my children, not orphans. Maybe pursuing my children has overridden pursuing my Father?
This has led to changing my prayers big time. I have been solely praying to live in Christ. To hear his whispers alone. You know what? Molly is happy. Blake is hysterical. Zeke has returned to his sparkly-eyed self despite his big bro going to kindergarten. And E is still struggling some days and other days, not. But my heart is lighter and it brings me back to where I was, on my knees in the pantry floor, remembering that I SO don't got this. It is not for me to control.
It has relieved some pressure too. I LOVE encouraging other mamas but I don't know day to day if my words, my writings, my hugs are helpful or harmful. Again, I don't got this, but my Father does.
Preschool is "like Sunday school all morning," per Zeke. He loves every minute. Etienne is the kid under the table or poking his neighbor. He is also the kid singing the loudest, praying his heart out and smiling ear-to-ear. Below is our accomplishments in play dough. Six months ago, he and I did our homework of sitting for 5 minutes. Now we can sit for at least 10!
In case you'd forgotten, Molly is the greatest. Exhibit A how she watches family movie night with her brothers.