ID (as in infectious disease, not login)

Mr Ezekiel has earned himself a visit to the infectious disease clinic at Children's Hospital this week and I have to say, it can't come soon enough. There are times when he slips back into his old, orphanage behavior of screaming and screaming, but we are often wondering if some of his screaming is related to his crazy distended belly, his stinky diapers and constant dripping nose. The little guy has run the course of anti-giardia meds several times. Bless his heart, he is now putting himself in the timeout corner when he screams, says "peeze" and "dank eeww" better then all his siblings and a form of "sorry," after he throws a fit. Melts my heart every time. Although I still feel overwhelmed and frustrated, that I hide in my closet to cry; I am ever so grateful for these little blessings from our screamer.

So many firsts!

The last week has been eventful for the newest Higgins' boys. Here are some more "Firsts:"

1. Etienne got his first haircut (including a wash and blowdry), a very handsome 'fro for only $4!! Plus, Mama was educated, lists of supplies were made and hair pics were purchased.

2. Zeke slept a full 8 hrs without yelling, crying or even "bbbaaa"ing.

3. Both boys tasted snow on their tongues and on their little faces

4. Etienne and Blake are sleeping together in the Big Boy Room and loving it.

Wow. We've come such a long way in such little time! I am still frequently overcome with emotions as their mother and as God's blessed child. Today at Target, Molly saw a baby swing and she commented that it made her sad that her little brothers never got to have baby swings or cute onesies. I cried and I cry as I write it. Although I am sad for all the babies that don't get that special swingtime or cozy snugglie, and heartbroken that I missed E and Z's first years; I know that God is loving each of those orphans as He loves each of us. It is a season of gratitude.

More children coming home!

We are overjoyed that this week there are 4 families in Kigali adopting their children from Home of Hope (E & Zeke's former place of residence) and an additional 5 families that anticipate travel before the end of the year!!

"Relgion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: that we look after orphans and widows in their time of distress." -James 1:27

Maybe you aren't called to adopt a child into your home, but please consider this commandment of our Father. You can support the fatherless through prayer, financial support, Operation Christmas Child (http://www.samaritanspurse.org/), or mission work. There are 143 MILLION ORPHANS worldwide. I wish that I could put into each of your brains the vissions of Etienne and Zeke's old life; that you could hear yourself the sound of the children playing alone in HOH, or see the rows and rows of tiny cribs. November is National Adoption Month and our family will always be called to spread James 1:27.

Etienne's 1st (3rd) Birthday

Today we celebrated Etienne. We had several varying dates for his birthdate, and we chose November 24. He chose some monkey themed plates, so mama made a monkey cake. It was just family and we all know he had no idea why he was the center of attention, but he enjoyed the spotlight. For the first time, Etienne was able to say "Mine!" to a toy, and we were happy for him to have something that was his for the first time in his life.

I found myself emotional today as I rocked Etienne, thinking of the first 2 birthdays of his life. My tears were that no one knew it was his day, no one kissed him or made him feel extra special on those days, or any other day.

Etienne got a big wheel motorcyle and much of his excitement was over assembling it with his daddy. He also loved his cell phone and his toy crane. Not too mention the 2 slices of cake!

Its not just for wrestlers anymore...more honesty!

So last week Molly got this cute little circular mark on her cheek. It got bigger and brighter and then I realized (gasp!), she had ringworm. All moms know this is almost as devestating as if your kid was the one in class with lice. Molly's teacher insisted that she didn't get in at school, so I, having too much nurse practitioner access, began to do some digging. Turns out most African kids are carriers of ringworm (also known as athlete's foot or jock itch), they just don't display it. Or if they do, it is in the form of bald spots. Have you all seen Zeke's head?! We looked closer and our little man does indeed appear to be the responsible party, in true Zeke style. Now the whole crew is being treated, everything is disinfected and we aren't contagious anymore. And Zeke got his first haircut! Blake saw him and said, "He looks like Grandpa!" We had to share the lookalikes.

So much...

"His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but JOY comes with the morning." -Psalm 30:5

We are a happy family of 6!!!!!! God totally knows what He is doing. If we had come home happy and adjusted, if we had slept from the beginning, if Zeke had not screamed for 4 weeks, I don't think that Ryan and I would feel the depths of love that we feel for our boys. I am not sure that we would see how truly miraculous adoption is if we hadn't struggled.

Getting real...

So I have been forthcoming with the reality of transition and adjusting in adoption. The truth is, although when I met Etienne and Zeke I KNEW they were mine, the instant bond and unconditional love wasn't entirely there and what I felt wasn't what I thought I'd feel. I was trying to force feelings that can't be forced. This has been a source of confusion and constant prayer. And something people just don't talk about. Yesterday, in the middle of the mall playground, I fell in love, head over heels, unconditional, move the earth kind of love. With Zeke and E. I was watching Blake chase Zeke and Etienne, all 3 of them laughing and I couldn't get over how beautiful and perfect they each were; totally a rose colored glasses, mommy view! I was taking pictures, crying and laughing and realizing that it finally happened. I love all my children with the same, constant, unconditional love. Ryan and I always tell our kids that only God loves them more than we do. All four.